


Near Death Experience

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Deaf Clint, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6086674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers come back from a mission short one handsome sharp shooter, and Phil doesn't know how to take the idea of never seeing his blond smart ass again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Near Death Experience

Each of the Avengers hauled themselves into the meeting room at SHIELD, a look of sorrow etched on each of their faces, and their energy all but drained out of their bodies.

from what Nick and Phil had heard over the comms, the mission had gone FUBAR almost as soon as the team landed. Captain Rogers and Falcon had both been cut off on their way towards the AIM base that they were attacking and found themselves surrounded with more people than even the two of them could handle. Thor had been pulled away from his position to help, leaving Stark alone to try and break into the secure base. that probably would have gone better if he hadn’t been attacked as soon as Thor was gone, but he did crack the security system after a while and Clint and Natasha went in to finish the rest of the mission.

From there, no one knew what had happened. the two Assassins had gone into radio silence so that they could focus on the job and not give away their position with chatter. what was supposed to be a 20 minute mission, turned in 3 hours of constant fighting, aim reinforcements showing up in various waves, and complete silence from Black Widow and Hawkeye.

    Nick was just about to call the mission when Black Widow retreated out of the building, calling for everyone to back up as soon as possible and get away. all of them did as they were told, but before they could get out of the vicinity the entire building went up in a large explosion. 

    Now, sitting in front of them, were a bunch of beaten, blood, tired and hurt Avengers who didn’t know what to do with themselves or what to say.

“Where’s Hawkeye?” Nick spoke up first, and Phil couldn’t have been happier that his best friend had taken the responsibility of asking that question away from him. His heart had stopped when Clint didn’t follow the others into the room, but he knew his husband. The man always got injured and always ended up in the Medical Bay. other than Archery and skill, it was his super power.

for a moment, no one answered. instead they all exchanged glances as if they were debating who would answer Nick’s question. in the far right corner of the table however, Natasha was hunched over herself with her hands in her hair and her head between her knees. Phil had never seen her like this before and it terrified him. If Natasha was so hurt by whatever happened, it couldn’t be good.

“We’re sorry Director Fury, Agent Coulson.” Falcon finally spoke up, and Phil could feel his knees going weak and his chest clenching up at the fear of what Sam was going to say next “Clint…he didn’t make it out.”

   Suddenly, the entire room felt like it was spinning. Phil couldn’t focus on anything, or anyone around him, and he stumbled backwards as he tried to process exactly what Sam had said.

Reaching out towards something, anything, he cringed when Nick grabbed hold of his arm and helped hold him up on his feet. There we no words needed between the two of them, because Phil knew that Nick was feeling the exact same thing as Him and Natasha, he just couldn’t show it the same way they could. He had to be strong until they could hold themselves up again. until he could be alone and deal with this by himself, or with close friends.

“Clint…” he gasped out his boyfriend name with a harsh breath, not knowing what else to say as he gripped his best friends arm “no….no he can’t…”

“Captain Rogers.” Nick practiclly snapped Steve’s head off with the sharp words that left his mouth “Take Agent Coulson and Agent Romonoff to Avengers tower. they are dismissed from this meeting and you can give me your mission report later.”

     “can’t we all…” Stark started to protest, only to get a cold glare from Nick “ohhh come on, he was our friend to! we lost a team mate and a friend out there! we all need time!”

“what you need, is to back off Stark” Natasha finally responded in an icy cold voice “He was your teammate, not your friend. you’ve known him a few years at most, which you mostly spend ignoring or making fun of him”

   “that’s not fa…”

“yes it is” Sam cut him off in a calm voice “we can get our mission reports over with now. Director Fury still needs to know what happened and it’s best if he gets a detailed summery as soon as possible from the majority of the team.”

   looking up at his friend, Phil felt his entire body going cold as he tried to keep the tears back. he didn’t know what to do or where to go without Clint waiting at home for him with stories of his adventure and a detailed description of how annoying Tony and Thor could be.”

   “Go home” Nick ordered with a soft voice “rest. we’ll talk tomorrow” 

nodding his head, Phil let Nick help him towards the door until he found his footing again. “thank you.” he whispered weakly.

“Anything” anyone else who heard Nick would probably assume that he was saying that as a director and the man who had send Clint and the others out on that mission, but Phil knew better. Nick was speaking to him as his best friend, and the man who brought Clint into SHIELD to give him a better life. Who stood up for Clint whenever someone else belittled him or tried to say someone else could do his job better with less lip, Nick was talking to him as someone else who was equally as hurt by this information, but had to stay strong for a while longer.

    “I’ll fly the quinjet home” Neither Phil nor Natasha bothered to look at Steve, opting instead to simply nod in acknowledgment and start making their way towards the hanger bay

_____________________________________________________

     Walking into his apartment at the tower, Phil dropped his suit jacket to the floor without a thought and kicked off his shoes. for once, he wasn’t going to bother putting them in their spot on the shoe rack, or making sure his suit jacket was hung up on the coat rack by the door so that it didn’t wrinkle and get dirty.

for once, he just didn’t have the energy to care.

Instead, he listened to the door closing behind him and let his eyes slid shut for the first time since he had gotten the news. His knees began to feel weak again as he thought about it all. Clint in the building without Natasha, probably hanging back to make sure she got out first, or being held back by the enemy.

Clint going up in flames with the rest of the building and never getting to see their next anniversary, or the look on Jasper’s face when he comes up with a new and elaborate prank for him (which would probably involve Jasper with a face full of some odd food to be honest).

For a second, Phil actually managed to laugh at the image of Clint standing in front of Jasper, laughing his ass off as the older man tried to clean some new, odd food that Clint had made just for him and the prank. but that didn’t last long before he remembered that he would never get to see Clint laugh again, or smile. That he would never get to wake up in the morning to Clint’s ridiculous octopus cuddles that he just couldn’t manage to escape from.

“this sin’t how it was supposed to go,” he whispered to himself, breaking the deafening silence in the room “you were supposed to outlive me. i don’t care if you go on dangerous missions and risk your life…y…” he choked back a sob and squeezed his eyes shut “you were supposed to out live me you ass hole..”

taking a deep breath, he gave his head a shake and forced himself forward. even as his feet dragged against the floor, he forced himself to continue towards the bedroom. he needed Clint’s pillow, his shirt…anything with his husbands scent on it that he could hold close. he couldn’t do this alone. 

the swoosh of the bedroom door opening pulled his attention up and away from the ground, and for a moment he was stunned.

“what?” he whispered to himself, reaching up and rubbing his eyes in disbelief. “this…i…how?”

   in front of him, Phil watched as Clint lifted his head off of the bed, dry blood caked onto the front of his face, his ears and his arms and his hair sticking on end with sweat and ash “hey handsome” the blond gave him a dorky smile and spoke in a shout, making Phil flinch away for a moment “i thought you would never get home.”

"Clint..." he whispered, watching as a look of confusion crossed his husbands face "Clint, how are you....are you ok?"

   Suddenly, Phil found himself watching as Clint's face slide from confusion, to fear, and into anger for a moment before settling on a hurt look. It was as if Phil had told him that they were getting a divorce, and Clint just didn't know how to handle it.

"Clint? are you ok?" He took a step forward towards the bed, happy when Clint didn't start to move away from him "talk to me handsome."

"Phil." the blond spoke in a raised voice again, almost as if he couldn't control the volume of his words. For a second, Phil figured that it was because of the explosion. if Clint was close enough then his ears would still be ringing and his head would most likely feel like someone had taken a sledge hammer to it. 

And then Phil's eyes landed on the dry blood that seemed to be coming out of Clint's ears, and he felt his heart drop. 

"Phil, i can't hear you..." the blond said, the fear in his voice still clear even with the loud volume. 


End file.
